Let’s be sure to disparage both sexes equally. And ladies, you can just as easily substitute “woman” with “man” in this scripture. It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman. And after your wife sends you to the doghouse I will never admit you are in the right till I die… O that ye would altogether hold your peace! and it should be your wisdom. When your husband is just digging himself into a hole Will your long-winded speeches never end? What ails you that you keep on arguing? Ho, ho, come forth, and flee from the land of the north, saith the Lord: for I have spread you abroad as the four winds of the heaven, saith the Lord. When you want to show your kids biblical proof of Santa Claus This is most effectively said in the voice of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Whenever your son is scared to squash a spider When your spouse is fishing for a complimentīehold, thou art fair, my love behold, thou art fair thou hast doves’ eyes within thy locks: thy hair is as a flock of goats, that appear from mount Gilead.īecause there’s nothing more romantic than goat hair. Until the cities be wasted without inhabitant, and the houses without man, and the land be utterly desolate… When your kids ask how long they have to do yard work My bowels, my bowels! I am pained at my very heart my heart maketh a noise in me I cannot hold my peace, because thou hast heard, O my soul, the sound of the trumpet, the alarm of war. There’s a scripture for all occasions! Check ’em out: 1. If you need a quick come-back, or if you just want to make your kids uncomfortable, then this list is for you. OK so… this is probably a bit irreverent (you’ve been forewarned), but we’re supposed to “ liken all scriptures unto ,” right? Besides, it’s always nice to have a few easy-to-remember scriptures in your back pocket for just the right occasion.
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